The Ins/Outs of Texas

On the drive back from our weeklong escapade around Port Aransas and San Antonio Texas, my mom asked, “so what did you think of Texas?” I had only been to Austin before for less than 24 hours to see a concert, so this was my first real experience with Texas in all its glory. “It’s definitely an interesting place.”

She originally took that to mean I didn’t turn out to be the biggest fan of Texas, but there was no negative connotation in my statement. Texas is a state all to it’s own, with some tacky traditions and an oddness to it that can’t exactly be put into words – but maybe it can be represented by the following list.

IN

Feeding the seagulls: 2/5 stars

Despite making for great pictures during feeding hours, one morning I was ferociously chased by three seagulls because I was eating a bagel while taking a little stroll on the beach. As soon as they saw the food in sight, they were locked in until I finished the entire thing. A scary experience as I am deathly afraid of birds.

Fishing (lots of it): 4/5 stars

I’m a big fan of fishing. I grew up with fishing as a regular summer activity with my parents and brother. Everyone would always let me be the one who got to bait all the hooks, as I had this over consuming obsession with worms. I’m not sure I realized that baiting the hooks meant the worms were dying, I was young! Fishing would be five stars, except it’s scary to take my morning beach runs when you see a fishing pole in the autopilot tubes and can’t see where the line is. I always think I’m going to run right into it.

Driving cars on the beach: 2/5

Definitely something you have to get used to, as I’ve never known it to be a thing anywhere else. On the first day we stopped a woman who told us that everyone drove on the beach, and it’s how families got all their things down to the beach instead of carrying them. This woman also proceeded to tell me that I, a junior in college, didn’t look old enough to be in university, so I told my parents that we couldn’t trust anything she had to say. Undoubtedly this car-on-the-beach situation has some gnarly environmental problems, but this is Texas where climate change does not exist.

Rattlesnakes in the dunes: 0/5

I’m not a snake connoisseur and I will run from anyone that is! I already lived in Arizona, my debts are paid, I should not have to deal with these rascals anymore.

Flags everywhere: 1/5

I get it, we’re in Texas. I don’t need to see a Trump flag every two steps on the beach to remind me. The 2020 elections are over, and I don’t care what college you went to, I’m trying to not think about college right now.

Low speed chases: 4/5

On one of the rainy days I went thrift shopping in town and heard a bunch of police sirens driving past the store. Despite staying inside, the smart thing to do, I went to the door to see what was going on. There were four police cars chasing an old truck with one tire blown that couldn’t have been going over 25 mph. Despite going at a speed in which I could run faster than, the policemen could not figure out how to get this car to stop. High speed chases might be good for the movie screens, but this one was so much more entertaining.

OUT

Moving your car when the tide comes up: 3/5

This is most definitely horrible for your engine, the metal on the car, and damaging to the tires so you should not do this. However, my dad was oddly fascinated with this ownless truck parked in the waves and that kept him entertained for a good two hours which meant I got to take a break from babysitting him.

Being afraid of the ocean: 4/5

I was envious of the people who walked out on this skinny rock wall without looking the least bit frightened. The experience might have talked me into taking some adult swim lessons and finally learning how to tread water.

Personal space: 1/5

The San Antonio Riverwalk had me feeling like I was back in Venice with the canals and intense crowds. I’m a big fan of personal space, so maybe Texas should work to move this one back to the “in” list.

Taking your shoes back from the ocean: 3/5

Let the ocean have them! This one also undoubtedly has some bad environmental effects, but the shoes did look immaculate when they washed back up onto shore. I would buy anything designed by the ocean.

Living in houses: 4/5

Texas housed some of the most luxurious trailer park neighborhoods I have ever seen.

Yours truly,

Calihan